He's gone crazy again! You see, he misses being president so much that when discussing the major technology companies, I have to refer to them as Cold War superpowers. Otherwise, he won't listen. My report from Cupertino follows:
We must establish a trade pact with the People's Republic of Apple. I have just returned from a meeting in Cupertino at the behest of President Nixon. I met with Premier Jobs and our discussion was quite productive. He said that the PRA would would be interested in opening economic relations with the West.To which Nixon replied:
In the Union of Soviet Microsoft Republics, the CPSU is looking to formally expand the nation's borders into Eastern Yahoo! I believe this annexation would effect a dramatic shift in the balance of power on the world stage. It would set a precedent for further expansion into other Soviet bloc countries and perhaps beyond. However, if we were to formalize trade relations with the PRA, which would have major economic benefits for our nation, it would also have the added benefit of creating a tacit anti-Soviet alliance.
I will be meeting tomorrow with NATO leaders to discuss these issues at the Googleplex in Bonn. I look forward to meeting with Chancellor Eric Schmidt.
Well done Henry, but if you want that second Nobel Peace Prize before you kick the oxygen habit, your plan needs to produce a much higher body count. We need to figure out how to drag on negotiations long enough for Ballmer to destroy some serious "shareholder value."
What else could I do but tell him how much I agree with his insane idea? This is going to backfire on us: I just know it! Someone's going to leak this whole operation to the press. They'll take away my Nobel Peace Prize! Perhaps I could lay the blame on McNamara...?
